What fresh hell is this?

Yes, I did just use a quote from The Big Bang Theory as the title of this blog post.

So, I wrote a really long post last night about my screwed up family. Which I am sure Caroline will love. But now I really have something extra annoying to post. Ready for the bitchiness? Ohhh good.

Well, this girl Mariah sent me a text message last night. This is how our conversation went.


Mariah: heey guess what??

Yours Truly: what?

M: i have a bf

YT: oh what fresh hell is this?


So that brings us to the namesake of this blog. The fact that I am actually worried that this entire situation will end up causing me mental anguish. This is because I will have to fix her screwy life when this semi-fictional spiral of distastefulness unravels.

I am going to try to be a normal, healthy person and try to just sit on the sidelines as these two people [Chris and Mariah], who are both completely emotionally immature and unable to have a normal relationship, whether friendship or otherwise, with another human being, attempt to interact with each other in a romantic type relationship. Oh dear... This experiment will be further referred to, throughout this blog, as the Chris/Mariah Effect.

This experiment will address Chris and Mariah's relationship and, probably, its downward spiral, and, consequently, my irritation and my overwhelming unavoidable urge to interfere, over-analyze, and attempt to fix the issues.

So, Julia tells me that I'm "such a weird person" because I "can't just be happy for her". Well, Julia, I am happy for her now. Mostly because today, I received another test message from Mariah saying this...

M: did you tell matt?
[Matt is her older brother. He's my age and is very good at retrieving information from unsuspecting sources]
YT: tell matt what?
M: about me and chris ;p
YT: no...do you want me to?
M: NOO!!

So anyway, the conversation dragged on dismally until I asked her if her and Chris had gone out on an actual date. Her response? "No, we broke up." *head spinning/mental pain* Whaaaaat? Yes.
I ask her how long they were going out. The answer? "59 minutes."

I then had to explain to the idiotic thirteen year old that going out for 59 minutes and not seeing the other person in those 59 minutes does not mean that you and that person are "bf/gf likeee tots". Yeaaaaahh...no. Just stop. You're 13. You need to be 13. Stop fabricating relationships.

Well my brain feels better now that I know that nothing happened between the two 13 year old's who probably have a combined IQ of 100.

I have other thirteen year old's dreams to shatter, and I also have to pack. Back home tomorrow. :'( I'm going to miss it here.

Good night Internet.

Books Read This Year: 5