Prepare to Learn Something New

I am a stress cleaner. Yes. When I am stressed or tired or sick, I clean. And not just "remove pile of dirt from the floor that the dog dragged in on his leash" cleaning. I scrub surfaces. I fluff and perfectly place pillows. Innocent blankets are folded, freshened, over-arranged. Floors washed and rewashed. Counters organized. It's a sickness really. A helpful sickness but a sickness.

Well today my mother and my aunt went out shopping searching for new work clothes. They left at about noon and when to Kohl's. Before they left, I told my mom to call us later so we can all go out for dinner at Ryan's or something. She says "fine", they leave, and I am left with a bouncy three year old. Now, don't get me wrong, I love this child more than anything in the world. But I would like to be in contact with some sort of parental unit from time to time. At around 5 pm, the two fifty-going-on-fifteen-year-olds called and said that they were going to Ulta and would be home in "about an hour." After my cousin (not the three year old; the three year old's mother.) got off the phone, I asked her if they mentioned Ryan's. She said no, so I texted my aunt and there was no response. Called my mother: went straight to voicemail.

So then I took Gabriella (the three year old) out to play ball and that ate up some time. Then, by six o'clock, we were all starting to get worried. We kept calling them and my aunts phone just rang until voicemail. My mom's was obviously off. This kept up until 8. In this two hour time period, we had called Ulta (the woman was confused and suspicious until I said that they both had dementia and were off their medication), both of the movie theaters in the area, and the hair salon. At 8, they called me and said that they hadn't gone to Ulta, they'd been "at Kohl's the whole time." And now they were "going shoe shopping" and they'd be home "in an hour or so."

Well it's 9:30 and they still aren't home. My mother called me about 10 minutes ago and my aunt called my cousin. They were in the same car, having the same conversation, on different phones with different people. Who are in the same room. There are so so many ways to simplify that entire situation, but I'm not even gonna go into those.

So bam. You just learned something knew about the complex, confusing entity that is Theresa Kelley. Congratulations.

My name is Theresa Kelley and I am a stress cleaner.
Good night Internet. I have to go eat some Chik-Fil-A.