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Saturday, June 2, 2012

Quarterly Crisis

Every three months or so, I go through this crisis in which I question all of my beliefs, everything I stand for, and everything I want for myself. While I think that questioning beliefs and internal reflection leads to personal growth, I don't this that these spurts of self doubt are helping.

They all start the same: I have a bad throat day or I don't tune my guitar, and BAM I am singer/songwriter/guitarist/actress to walk the planet and my life with never be what I want it to be. Then I fall behind on my work: schoolwork, videos, planning for performances. Then comes my favorite part of all: I decide that all of my friends aren't true friends, that no one will ever love me, and I will die alone from anaphylactic shock or asthma because I live with a hundred cats even though I'm allergic and then they will eat my flesh when I'm dead.
I honestly was going through one of these today. But now everything is okay because I have so much good in my life. I have so many people who do love me, I have great friends because I'm a great friend, and there's always going to be someone I know with a harder life. They could be poor, abused, suicidal, ECT. I'm just a little egocentric at 2:30 in the morning.

I'm in PA right now so I get to add that to the journeys list. Haven't finished any books lately, but I'm reading The Catcher in the Rye. It's good.

Good night Internet.

Books: 10
Journeys:12!

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